On Friday Kevin and I got Ryder down for bed and then watched a movie. During the movie I felt like I was getting a little cramp in my abdomen and back. I tend to get this kind of pain every once in a while and it has only been really bad once. After the movie, the pain became drastically worse. All of a sudden I could hardly stand or breathe. I was doubled over in a ball crying and moaning because it felt like something in me was ripping apart. No matter what I did, nothing helped. Kevin was pretty scared because of how much pain I was in. This was ten times worse than the other time I had the same pain. Since I was only able to take small, shallow breaths, my hands, arms, and legs went numb and my fingers involuntarily curled into fists that I could NOT undo. It was terrifying! So we decided to go to the emergency room. Kevin's parents were in Logan because they were going to be riding the LOTOJA race on Saturday. So we woke Ryder up which made me bawl even more because at this point it was about midnight and I felt terrible for making him get up. The ten minute drive to the hospital felt like it was never going to end. When we got to the ER, I told Kevin I felt like I was going to throw up from the pain. Which I promptly did, in a garbage can in the ER lobby. They hurried and got my back and hooked me up to an IV and gave me morphine. That really helped, but I still had some aching pain in my back. They had me give a urine sample and then they did a CT scan (which on the way to get the scan, I threw up again). I thought I was an ovarian cyst that had burst or something, but it turned out I had two kidney stones. One was a pretty large one that was in the process of passing down to my bladder (which is the most painful part). The other one was a little one that was still up in the kidney. The only thing they could do at that point was manage my pain. I was in and out of sleeping for a couple hours and at this point it was now past 3:30 in the morning and Ryder was in full meltdown mode. We decided that Kevin and Ryder should go home and try and go get some sleep and I would stay at the hospital until morning.
This was a huge deal for two reasons. This was the first time Kevin and I had slept away from each other since the day we got married. This was also the first time in the nearly sixteen months since Ryder has been home from the hospital that I would not be there to nurse him before he went to sleep. Which led into a really difficult decision for me. Since I was put on morphine, I was not going to be able to nurse Ryder for 24 hours. I usually nurse him 4 times a day- first thing in the morning in our bed, before his two naps, and at bedtime. We had never had him go to sleep with nursing first. I had already been thinking that I was going to try weaning him around 18 months old, in November, however, this would give me a 24 hour head start if I wanted it. So I was torn because I really wasn't planning to do it yet, but I went ahead and decided that I would start weaning him this weekend.
Kevin took him home and got him to sleep easily, thank goodness. The next morning he came and got me once Ryder had woken up (but not before I could throw up again at the hospital. Dang percoset on an empty stomach...) We filled my prescriptions and went home where my parents met up with us (where I also threw up again in the front yard... lovely, I know). Kevin and my dad gave me a priesthood blessing. It really made me calm and feel better. The rest of the day I layed on the couch and rested while Kevin watched Ryder and got him down for two more naps, without nursing! I was supposed to drink a lot of water to help try and flush my kidney stone out. It didn't dawn on me that drinking tons of water has the complete opposite effect if you are trying to dry your milk up... so not comfortable AT ALL! Poor Ryder kept coming up to me whining and pulling on my shirt and making the noise he does when he wants to nurse. I hated telling him he couldn't and he would just cry and cry :( It broke my heart!
The doctor at the ER said if I hadn't passed the stone by Monday morning, to call a Urologist. Sunday came and went, and still no stone (I was really terrified at the thought of having to pee out a rock!). I went to the doctor on Monday and he said, lets just get it out. So we scheduled the surgery for Tuesday. The surgery is called a Urteroscopy. They pretty much go up through the urethra with a scope and find the stone. Then they insert another device with a tiny basket on the end that "grabs" the stone and then they pull it out.
I definitely wasn't thrilled at the thought of a scope going up there, but since you are out for the procedure, I thought it was the best option. I had the surgery today and they said everything went well, they retrieved the stone and kept it to analyze what is causing them. Jeannine watched Ryder during the surgery since Kevin had school. I actually love the feeling of waking up from being put out, as long as there is no nausea (which there wasn't this time, yay!). We went home and I was pampered by Jeannine making me food, bringing me pillows, and taking care of Ryder while we sat and watched movies. It was pretty fun! I am glad to be rid of that one stone at least. The other one is still there, and hopefully it stays small and I can pass it no problem. I am supposed to be drinking about a gallon of water a day for a few days... that's a TON of water. I have been going to the bathroom literally every five minutes!
Ryder is still having a hard time with not nursing, but it's definitely getting better. To be honest, I am having a terrible time with it. I miss it so much. Which is so ironic because when we first brought Ryder home from the hospital, it was difficult and I hate breastfeeding so bad. Not too long after we brought him home it started to click and I actually started to love nursing him. So I have been pretty sad to see that experience come to an end. Not to mention, nursing produces a ton of feel good hormones, so stopping the nursing cold turkey also can do a number on your hormones and make you feel pretty depressed not unlike the baby blues. Our pediatrician said stopping cold turkey was probably better though, so that's why I did it that way. Anyways, I will get over it, and Ryder is already doing amazing falling asleep without nursing, so I'm grateful for that! He's such a trooper :)
Tonight, Jeannine was making dinner and Ryder was "helping" so she make an apron for him out of a dish towel. He looked so cute running around with it! He loved it, haha.
